• Antje Farmer Photography

Dear Mum from this morning - I hope this finds you

I saw you this morning when I dropped of my kids to the holiday camp they are not keen on and we had been discussing and worrying about over breakfast.

"I don't want to go!"

"Why do we have to go there?"

"They are too strict!"

"It's because I have to work today!"

So when I arrived at the holiday football club - I spotted you straight away and my heart went out to you.

You were balancing a toddler on your right hip and chased your 5 or 6 year old girl around your car. She was in absolute bits about going to the camp and kept running off from you. When I returned from dropping my kids off (who had somehow pulled themselves together and went) - you were in tears. I saw you getting back into your car - tears running down your cheeks, your toddler back in the car seat and your little girl back in the car. You sat there, your head resting on the steering wheel and you were sobbing. And I am so so sorry that I did not knock on your car door. I really should have :-(

This is what I wanted to tell you:

I can tell that you are being pulled into all directions, that you are most likely working and trying to be on time, and trying to keep both of your kids happy and drop them off in two different locations before making it into work and getting the look and the raised eyebrow for being ten minutes late.

You will have probably been up since 5 am and still would not have had a minute to put on your make up properly or do your hair. You might have seen all the lovely Facebook stories and Insta reels about "Fun Days Out with My Kids" from other parents, while you have booked a club, so you can go to work. And now you have to figure something out with work, because you cannot convince your little girl to stay at this club. You might have already had too much time off work looking after ill kids or isolating or homeschooling - and now this....

Please do not feel guilty. You are doing an amazing job of juggling. Juggling is hard. It makes you constantly feel like you are giving everything 50%. But your 50% will be like 150% to your girls! Even with a club and tears and cross words and impatience. Because your tears this morning meant you really care - and that makes you THE BEST MUM! Hold your head up high at work when you get a raised eyebrow - they have either forgotten what it is like or have not experienced it (or work is all they have got in their lives). Write this morning off. Get a huge nice big coffee. Call a friend.

If I do see you tomorrow (and I so hope I do) - I will knock on your car door and say hi. Love Antje

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